I Am A Lion

This was sent to me by a friend today. It was one of the most beautiful gifts I have received. It is a quote that they modified slightly to fit what I have been experiencing. There are times in our lives that our eyes are opened and we see ourselves for who we were created to be not what we believe about ourselves. This year has been so transformational for me, especially the last 7-8 months. I am truly blessed to be given an opportunity to see things about myself that I never realized were there. Some could think that it's too bad I didn't learn these things earlier. I am in awe that I get to learn these things at this time in my life and not 20 years from now. They say youth is wasted on the young. Here is a good question. Who determines youth? When we are 30 we look at a 20 year old and think they are so young. When you hit 40 you think 30 is young. As far as I can see from my friends who are in their 70's, it is I who am young!!!! I will not waste this "Youth"!!!!! ‪#‎thankful‬‪#‎ageisjustanumber‬

To All Moms

Recently I have heard the words "I hate you", "I'm just going to live with Dad", "You don't love me".  Sometimes being a parent, especially a single mom, can cut you to the very core of who you are and make you question are you doing the right thing.  About a month ago I made a few changes.  One being that Caleb had to turn off all screens 30 min before bed time and read.  OMG you would think I was killing him.  The first night he even refused to eat his bed time snack.  BTW he went to bed without one that night.  He was so mad.  MOM!!!!!! WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME????? My answer "Because I love you".  Have to say those first few nights I questioned myself.  But I knew he had to take time to read.  Boy am I glad I stayed the course.  After about 4 days I told him it was time to put his book away and go to sleep.  "Mommmmmmmm can't I read for 5 more min".  lol what a change from the "I hate you"   This morning he said to me "Mom we need to go and get another book for me to read.  I am all done my book".  

SO BE ENCOURAGED AND STAY THE COURSE.  Sometimes we do things because we love our kids even though at that moment in time they hate us.  If we stay the course and don't deviate from what we know is the right thing, even though sometimes it is waaaay easier to give in, our kids are happier.  

Being "present" has reduced my Stress levels

It has been a crazy busy 21 days.  I can say that I am so glad I made the decision to take a risk, and begin a new journey.  My children have been AMAZING and are 100% on board with helping out.

A Problem To Solve

Making the decision to walk away from my only source of income and recreate a new one is very stressful on everyone.  In the first few weeks I realized that I was going to have to develop the ability to be stressed but enjoy life at the same time.  When I built my last company I can look back and realized I missed out on some things.  Not because I was gone all the time, but because I was not "present" in the moment.  You know those times in life, where everything is so overwhelming, and you are so stressed, that even though you are with the ones you love, you are not really there.  You're physically there, but your mind is elsewhere and you are thinking about all the things you have to do.  Wondering how you are going to make it through etc.  It was my daughter who helped me recognize that.  In the first few weeks she got frustrated with me and pointed out to me that when I get stressed if effects how I respond to them.

Sometimes it's hard to allow your child to point out your shortcomings lol.  However, I didn't want to look back and realized I had not enjoyed this journey.  The whole concept of Network Marketing is that it is something that gives you the opportunity to be with your family and enjoy life.  Sometimes leaders in the industry can forget that and in an effort to grow their teams there is so much pressure that they are not present in the everyday, incredible moments of life.

The Decision

I have purposefully made the decision in the last 3-4 weeks to be present.  It has been incredible.  I have been extremely busy, however when I am with my children, a friend, enjoying a quite moment etc I make sure that I quite my mind.  I am a little ADD and my mind can be all over the place, so that it quite an accomplishment for me :-).  I cannot believe how that little decision has created so much joy inside me.  It has not been easy and I still have not perfected it, but the joy I feel each day is incredible.  I didn't realize that making the decision to be present in the moment can actually reduce my stress levels.

Are you Stressed?

Are you going through something in life right now that is creating stress?  Are you present in the moments that can bring joy?

Here is what I did.  I decided that even though I was stressed and had no idea if I was going to replace my income, if things were going to work out etc I was still going to enjoy what was important to me.   I am one of those people that has a hard time sitting still, keeping my mind calm, not thinking about 100 things at the same time and not worrying about the future.  So I decided to pick 1 thing I love doing and be present in that moment.  I thought if I started with 1 it would grow from there.  I picked meals with the kids.  When we would sit and eat, have tea together etc I would not look at my phone, answer calls and if my mind started to wander I would grab hold of it and bring it back to that moment in time.  It was easy to not answer the phone.  I would leave that somewhere else however, my mind was a bit more difficult to tame.  Over the last 4 weeks or so I have become quite successful at this, and it has surprised me at the results.  Do I have moments where I fail?  YES However, a majority of the time I succeed aaannnndddd I have been able to add other moments into it.  I have found that I can consistantly be present in any moment I choose.  It is soooooooo worth learning how to do this!!!!!  I had no idea how these moments can reduce my stress level and bring joy to those around you.

If you are wanting to improve any part of your life I encourage you to listen to this audio by Earl Nightingale  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=plhYVd2MgtA.

Loving the Jouney

Today I am setting some time aside to go and hang out with my Mom and help her with her pond.  It will be a moment that I am present and enjoy just "being". The best part is the more I have learnt how to do this the faster my business has grown.  I had NO idea that being present in the moment would allow my business to grow faster.  On TOP OF IT ALL, my quality of life has dramatically improved.

The future... What my 9 year old taught me about myself.

The other night I was putting my son to bed.  He will be 10 in a few weeks and has just started grade 5.  I was about to leave the room and he said, after asking a ton of questions for the last 15 min, “Mom can I ask you one more question?” If you have kids you know what that is all about.  I said no.  I was about to leave then changed my mind.  I have found some of the best conversations I have had with my son are the one we have right before bed.  So I said “Ok, but only one more”.  With a very serious look he said “Mom, you know how girls love their Dads and their dads are boys? Why don’t girls like boys?  Non of the girls in my class like me” I sat back down on his bed and asked him if there was a cute girl in his class he liked.  He just smiled.  He said non of the girls like him.  They all hate him.  He looked kinda sad.  I asked him if the girls liked any of his friends.  He pondered for a min then with a realization he said “No! the girls don’t like any of us”. I talked with him for a while and told him that he didn’t need to worry.  That he has 2 older sisters that he has spent a lot of time with.  That he had a good understanding of girls and is very good at talking and sharing his feelings.  In about 2 years all the girls are going to like him.  He didn’t seem to believe me and wanted to continue the conversation, however I told him not to worry that he will believe me one day.  “It’s Time for bed”

I have been thinking about this over the last few days.  I have been, in the past, a worrier.  Well I guess I better be honest, there are times I still am lol. I have been told that when I worry about the future I am “projecting”.  That I have decided what the outcome will be and it hasn’t even happened yet.  Typically it’s not a good outcome.  I debate back and say “No I’m not! I am using logic and logic tells me this will not be good” (whatever “this” may be).   Have to say I have had many, and I mean, many conversations like this over the last 2.5 years.  It has been an internal battle as I slooowly let go of this “projection” issue I have had. 

I so love when it’s a child who really points out the obvious to me.  As I walked out of my sons room that night I chuckled to myself and though.... He is worried about something that is such a minor issue.  I thought to myself how simple a child’s life is.  I was thinking to myself in a very short time he will come to me with other issues, like “Mom the girls won’t stop bugging me”.  However I also understood that in his world this WAS a big issue.  That he had to trust ME that it was going to all work out and that these girls would eventually like him.  That was a hard thing for him to grasp.  Why?  Because, it is not currently happening in his life right now.  In fact everything he can see points to the opposite side of things.  They really don’t like him and it does not look like it will change.  I started to realize that there were things in my life, in the past, that didn’t look like it would change.  There were even people in my life telling me they would change.  Not to worry about it.  I would be thinking, “WHAT??? Don’t Worry???? Do you even get what I am trying to tell you?? It’s bad.  Really bad???  There is nothing good that can come out of this!!!”  Yet as I look back good did eventually come.  Maybe not when I wanted it to but it did. 

So, my question to all of us.  Especially me.  What in your life right now are you worried about?  What are you wasting precious emotional energy on?  Worrying that it’s all going to come to an end or fall apart or disappear or never get better?  Does this really serve us well?  I am realizing it doesn’t.  It wastes our real potential to problem solve and allow others to enter our lives that may have the solution. 

So why don’t we all work towards recognizing when we are “projecting” the negative about our future.  I am not saying it will be easy, but I am saying it will be worth it. 

Are you a Box Dweller or a Box Destroyer?

I haven’t posted in a while.  Summer and all that can be busy especially when you add kids into the mix.  Love that I can be home with them and not have to worry about asking my “boss” for time off.

Had a conversation with someone this week that got me thinking about life.  They invited me to speak at an event and share my story.  I am sitting in my office thinking about the past the present and the future I started thinking about the boxes I have built in my life.  No not a physical box, but that invisible ones, the boxes that we all have on the inside of us.  You know the one.  We climb into them when we feel threatened or unsure of our situation.  We retreat into the safety of what is familiar, where we have “control” basically what we perceive as safe.  Even if we don't like how it feels in there we at least know it better than the unknown.  They are interesting because most of the time we don’t even realize they are there yet we find ourselves inside them with the lid shut tight. 

The problem I find when I have climbed into one of the boxes, or in some cases tripped into one and didn’t even know it lol, is that it creates a situation where I cannot see opportunity. Typically it's a time in my life that I find myself feeling angry more than normal.  Where I feel like there is no hope of change.  Times where I feel like nothing ever goes right.  What I am realizing about life is those are the times I am in a box.  It's because all I can see are the four walls that surround me.  Of course I can't see anything other than the situation I am in.  Now it is up to me to realize that the answer is there.  That I may be the issue.  Hmmmm that can be a hard one to swallow can't it?  Me the issue?  You the issue in your own life?  No one can lift the lid off that box.  Only me and you.  For example, how often has someone offered help and we turn around and go "That's ok I can handle it"?  Really??? Are you sure? Could that be the solution?  Yet we don't want to "inconvenience" someone else?  What about the times someone has invited you to something and then we say No.  When really it's because we are too afraid to go where we don't know anyone.  What if that is the place you meet the one person who is the answer to that problem you are dealing with?  It happens to all of us.  It does not matter how much success we have had in life.  It happens when we are about to grow and do something we may have never done before.  

So when you are feeling that insecurity, hopelessness, fear, nervousness, anger whatever negative emotion you are dealing with make sure you don't climb or "fall" into a box.  If you are currently in one you are the only one who can lift the lid and peak out.  Some amazing things are in that "unknown" place in life.  It can be scary, but it can also be exhilarating.  Lets all lift the lids together and go and see what life has that we didn't even know was there.  

Do You Know What You Are Looking For?

Have you ever lost something.  Looked all over for it.  Then found it and realized you had looked at it many times just didn't see it?

That just recently happened to me.  It amazes me how often it can happen.  

I decided to be very organized for Easter.  Bought the candy about 3 weeks early.  Hid it so my kids wouldn't see it.  Then a few days before Easter went to get it.  I realized very quickly I had no idea where I had hid it.  So off I went on my very own Easter Egg hunt lol.  My 18 year old found it quite amusing.  I looked for 2 days and couldn't find it.  I was frustrated.  I took a deep breath and told myself "It's here, I know it is.  I just have to relax and let my eyes see it".  Within a few min I found it.  

Here is the crazy part.  I had looked at it about 4 times.  I just didn't see it.  How in the world does that happen?  I realized that I had been looking for a Walmart bag and the candy was in a Target bag.  It was not until I relaxed my mind was I able to see it.  The stranger part was that I will still looking for that Walmart bag, however as soon as I saw the Target bag it hit me, "there's the candy".  

So.... I started to think.  What if what I am looking for in life is right in front of me, but I cant see it?  What if I am looking for the Walmart bag but it's in the Target bag.  Translation.... what if I am so convinced I know what I need to move forward and reach that next goal in life that I can't see the solution that is sitting right in front of me.  

Question... Do you know what you are looking for?  If you do be very careful that you are not so convinced on what you think you are looking for that you can't see what you are really looking for.  

Solution?  Be open, try things you may not normally try.  Take a deep breath from time to time and allow the unexpected to enter your life.  Meet people who are outside of the typical group you would hang out with.  Learn to look at things with a new set of eyes.  

Since realizing this I am practicing looking at my world with a different set of eyes.  Being open to finding the "Target bag" instead of the "Walmart bag".  It has only been a few weeks and it amazes me the people who have entered my life.  What you are looking for could be right in front of you, you just can't see it yet :-)

Do you follow your Gut or listen to fear?

As I watched this video I could not help but think that there are times in life we feel trapped.  It doesn't matter if we are trapped in an unhealthy relationship, unhealthy lifestyle or financially trapped.  Then someone comes into our life that we see could help us find the solution.  When we finally break free of our trap we celebrate like this whale.

What I love about animals is that they rely on instinct, we call it our Gut.  The only difference between humans and the whale is that the whale instinctively knew he had found help and stayed for hours until it was done.  There are times in our lives that we see the possibility for a solution, but we don't take it.  Why?  because we are afraid.  There is no "guarantee" that it will be what we think it is.

For the Whale in this story, it was humans that caused his pain.  His solution????  Once again humans.  The whale didn't decide that it was humans that hurt me so to hell with those humans.  Forget them.  They won't help me.  Instead he went with his "Gut"  and spent hours getting help.  He swam away a few times believing that he was ok.  But as soon as he realized he was not completley free he came back.  He did not think "They didn't even do it right.  I thought they were going to help, but they didn't do a good job".  He came back over and over until he was completely free!!!!  What decisions are you making in your life based on fear of failure, fear of being hurt, fear that it will just happen again, fear that life will never change?  "One Decision Can Change Everything".  The whale celebrated because his life had been saved.  The people celebrated because they had saved a life.  How many times do we either not accept help or not provide help out of fear of being hurt?